resolutions

 

Here is Billie wishing you all a happy new year. She enjoyed her first Christmas along with other people's presents. I've suggested the animals make new year resolutions.

Billie's are: to eat more of other people's presents. Eat more cushions, slippers, dog beds, important pieces of paper and poetry.

                                 

Above is Rocket seeing in the new year with a post prandial snooze. He asked what a cheroot was and could he have a dry martini with his supper? His resolution was to have a gentlemen's club that Billie was not a member of. I asked him what form this club would take and he said lots of comfy armchairs, the odd cheroot (if he liked them) and no unnecessary playing first thing in the morning. He also told me he was exhausted from reading all the books behind him and what did Pocket mean by telling him an unexamined life was not worth living? This was why he'd read them all but couldn't see how Vogue's Guide to Knitting and Crochet would improve his understanding and examination of his life. When I mentioned the quote to Pocket and told him Socrates had said that he just stuck his nose in the air and asked me if I grew any hemlock.

Pocket said he was above resolutions and he didn't need to improve in any way. But he did announce he was going to become a police cat. PC Pocket? I enquired. He glared at me Certainly not - Detective Superintendent Pocket if you don't mind.

I asked what he would be doing and he looked at me as if I were stupid. Arresting errant mice obviously. And any wayward shrews or small rabbits. I'll be patrolling from dawn to dusk if necessary. 

We have two new beautiful Indian runner ducks to keep our one remaining duck company. The female above has very unusual markings and the new male is also rather splendid.  I think they'd make very interesting babies if I incubate any of her eggs come spring.

Nancy said she might take up cooking as she didn't think she was getting the food she really wanted apart from the odd arrested mouse that DS Pocket might have left on the mat. She also asked me if I grew hemlock as Pocket had told her it was very tasty with fish.

                                            

Inspired by a wonderful poetry writing course given by the celebrated poet, writer, Memoirist, Reviewer, Workshop Leader and Occasional Mentor Jonathan Davidson on which we were encouraged to list the phrases we most disliked hearing, below is my list. 

 See it say it sort it is one that particularly annoys me though I didn't write it in my list below.

Unexpected item in bagging area.

There are certain phrases 

that make me cringe

like some copywriter has gone

on an existential binge.

We value your custom

the train will terminate here

the road ahead is closed

until early next year.

pin number unrecognised (is this a trap?)

your call is important to us

please refer to the app.

Your flight is cancelled

We have to let you go

your card has been refused

the tubes are on  go slow.

your bag is too big for Ryanair

you'll have to get off 

or we'll increase your fare.

We are fully booked

buy one get one free

your call is important to us

It's not You it's Me.

Linda Coggin 2024