magpie - one for borrow (and not give it back)

With reference to the superstitious rhyme that people quote when they see a single magpie - one for sorrow- etc I am changing the S for a B. It's true that magpies are thieves but Mrs Magpie takes the biscuit. 

Well actually she did take the biscuit - two in fact. After Scout stealing the stollen, when I made a batch of biscuits (unusual for me) I made sure I put them right at the back of the work top so Scout couldn't reach them. I went away, I came back, I counted the biscuits - there were two missing. I was all for blaming Scout until I found one of the biscuits in the fruit bowl and realised Mrs Magpie had flown in and nicked them.  So attack from above and below now. Of course she steals other things but I wasn't prepared for a culinary theft. Most small food items she caches - I've often come across a piece of toast amongst the books in the book shelves, or something edible buried in a plant pot in the house.  I think it was a hidden dog biscuit that jammed up my printer. Fortunately I found a printer mender who sorted it but he was unable to comment if it was or was not a dog biscuit caught in the works.

Here she is sofa surfing

and another selfie. The reason why I take so many pictures of her is that she's the only animal not asleep when you try and take a photo. She seems to like having her photo taken - maybe she has a Tik Tok account.

Here she is in an outside habitat in case you all think she just lives in the house.

At least she didn't steal my car - or at least  I don't think she did. Did I mention someone stole my car from outside the house? It's a very old car and a real work horse and it's been parked there for years and I loved it - if you can love a car - obviously I didn't love it s much as sentient beings or flowers or a beautiful day. Then one day I went out and there was an empty space. It was as shocking as seeing a red line on a covid test.  They eventually caught the man driving with false number plates after a car chase in which he hit a bollard in Southampton. I never got the car back but on reading a 'friend request' on Facebook which I ignore and had been sent a few months back the message said the car had been used in a robbery and they had it on CCTV.  So I'm pretty sure Magpie didn't steal it even though she would fly off with the keys.

Pocket thinks he'd like his own account and be an influencer. "Who will you influence?" I ask. He shrugs. I might receive lots of money for wearing a particular cat coat for example or praising a book I've read. "But you don't read books it seems "- I say. Jewellery? he suggests.

"Do cats even wear coats? " 

He assures me that they might after seeing him in one and just think how many free gifts would arrive. 

Are you hoping for some sort of income? I ask.

 He snorts. The proof of wealth is to possess something that might be absolutely destroyed in a moment. "Ah you've been studying Pliny the famous Roman naturalist."I say. 

Is he an influencer? he asks. Has he a Tik tok account?

Here is Rocket hiding from Pocket and pretending he's not really there as he doesn't want to see him in a cat coat incase I am reminded he has a coat too which is too short and he says makes him look silly.

Hedgehogs staying awake at the wildlife hospital

These are roses and sweet peas from last year to remind me that it isn't always going to be so cold.
 

The Hedgehog

by Paul Muldoon

The snail moves like a 

Hovercraft, held up by a 

rubber cushion of itself,

Sharing its secret

with the hedgehog. The hedgehog

shares its secret with no one.

We say Hedgehog, come out

of yourself and we will love you.

We mean no harm. We want

only to listen to what

you have to say. We want

your answers to our questions.

The hedgehog gives nothing

away, keeping itself to itself.

We wonder what a hedgehog

has to hide, why it so distrusts.

We forget the god

under the crown of thorns.

We forget that never again

Will a god trust in the world.